Day 79 and the desire to drink has dwindled considerably. Slowly but surely, Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind is sinking in. I’m thankful to Annie and other podcasters, bloggers , friends and family who have supported and provided inspiration along the way. Most of all, I’m thankful to my patient, supportive and loving partner. If it wasn’t for him, laying out the ugly home truths that I had a problem with alcohol, I would never have started the life changing journey I am on today.
But my question is, can an alcohol free life become the new normal? I’m going to have a stab at answering this and would love your feedback and perspectives.
What is ‘normal’?
To answer this question, I’m going to define normal as a state where I wake up one morning and my old love affair with wine has vanished. That is, I’m defining normal as the opposite to my previous abnormal perspective about alcohol when I was a drinker. You know, the typical boozer mentality – always armed with an endless list of justifications about I drunk. Stuff like:
- Have a drink, it’ll relax you
- Have a drink, you deserve it
- It’s been a tough day, you need a wine
- It’ll help you unwind
I’m pleased to honestly say that this abnormal perspective is dissolving. I got under the hood and faced the reality about why I drank. Things are progressing.
But what comes next?
To describe what I think (rather, I am hoping!) comes next, I’m going to use an analogy. It might seem left field but please bear with me. The analogy goes like this.
When we start a new job, the pressure / anxiety / unfamiliarity etc that comes with the first day makes us feel sick in the stomach. We feel out of place for the first day, week, month, as we try and learn unfamiliar processes, learn people’s names and get settled in.
Then, as the months go by, we start to settle in. The stuff that initially petrified the bejesus out of us can now be taken in our stride. We get our groove on, we get good at stuff. We become successful.
If we relate this scenario to recovery, I’m hopeful that recovery will be like starting a new job. That eventually, all the scary shit (e.g. Attending parties sober, not reaching for a wine after work, not reaching for a wine EVER) becomes unscary. That is, we get our groove on, we get good at being sober.
I’m not sure how this alcohol free thing is going to play out. But I do know one thing that is 100% certain. That is, if I go back to the booze, the only way is down. Therefore this is not an option. I have to make this recovery thing stick. And I’m just hoping that one day, I might wake up in the morning and my love affair with wine has vanished.
Wait – scratch that.
One day, I will wake up in the morning and my love affair with wine will have vanished.
An alcohol free life will become my new normal.
Thank you for reading, I wish you well in your recovery journey.