On 01/01/17 when I quit drinking, one thing that scared me was losing my friends.
Why was I worried? Because at the time, all (OK probably 98%) of them were drinkers. And that’s what we did together most of the time when we hung out. We got wasted.
What was I worried about? Two things. Firstly, getting a lot of shit for becoming alcohol free. And sadly, this did happen. It was awkward and unpleasant for about the first two months but I stayed true to myself and didn’t cave to the peer pressure. Secondly, would I still HAVE any friends as an alcoholfree person?!? Scary thought!!!!
To explore these fears, I confided in my wonderful, lovely fitness coach from http://www.swellfitliving.com She gave me some advice back in January that I’m forever grateful for. And I want to share this with you – it’s been a powerful life lesson for me! She said:
- That as I embark on my new journey, I WILL find a new tribe. That I willl attract positive people including new friendships, centered around positive, supportive, healthy lifestyles
- My real friends will love, respect and support me on my alcoholfree journey. Rather than drinking, we can do brunches, lunches and real friendships will grow stronger and stronger as time goes on.
And you know what? She was absolutely right!!!! I was sooooo wrong. I spent time and energy worrying about nothing. 🤦🏽♀️ I don’t like to admit I am wrong about things. But I was so wrong in this case!
The reality of what happened was as follows. Over the last few months, I:
- Have lost a small handful of ‘friends’. But we’re we really friends or just drinking acquaintances? If they don’t what to know me for the alcoholfree me, that’s their loss. I’ve moved on.
- Have re-established and strengthened existing relationships. Including some previously strained family ones. Which is all positive and I’m really happy about.
- Have made and continue to make a bunch of great new friends through yoga and meditation classes. Like-minded individuals that share common bonds is a wonderful feeling.
Quick note! It wasn’t all smooth sailing. The first two months felt a bit lonely at times and a bit isolating. Largely because I was finding the new me. But don’t give up! It somes with time. Keep busy, keep focussed, keep willing to try new things. Believe me, you WILL find your new tribe.
Anyway, I hope this helps give you some confidence that when you become alcoholfree, you WILL find your new tribe. Your old one will reshape and morph for positive, rewarding and wonderful reasons. You’ll get to be a better version of yourself in a safe surroundings.