Alcoholfree living: reflections of days gone by

/ NoWineImFine

On a Friday after work approximately six months ago (and for the ten years before that), you would have found me with a wine in my hand. Because:

  • it’s Friday or
  • it’s such-and-such’s farewell or
  • it’s such-and-such’s birthday or
  • it’s been a stressful week or
  • I met a huge deadline or
  • it’s a girls night out or
  • I deserve it.

Basically I was utterly clueless about how to celebrate/have fun/relax/decompress without wine. I was the opposite of this blog title, I was fine WITH LOTS OF WINE and DEFINITELY NOT FINE without wine.

It’s taken me two decades of drinking like a fish to finally wake up and realise the cold, hard truth: that all these excuses are RUBBISH. But it’s what our modern boozing culture, the multi-billion dollar alcohol industry and our upbringing instills in our unconscious and conscious minds. A bit like doctors who prescribed cigarettes for stress and amphetamines for weight loss in the 1950s. It was normal, fashionable and common in the media and society. Just like excessive drinking is today.

From the days as a small child, you may have memories like mine. Parents comming home after work and cracking a beer or wine or three. We saw our parents and grandparents do it. We saw most adults we knew doing it. Not always to excess but it was in our small impressionable faces, day after day. We saw it on the television and in movies. Drinking was always part of our upbringing so how could we possibly know any different? 

We couldn’t.

I regret many things I did as a drinker. So I’m working really hard on forgiving myself and moving forward constructively. I can’t ‘unhurt’ the people I hurt in the old days of drinking. But I can:

  1. repair relationships (where it’s worth it), 
  2. reformulate my tribe with positive influencers and
  3. rid myself of relationships that are destructive, revolve around alcohol and are toxic.  

The days gone by have had their ups and downs. The days to come will have their ups and downs. Our days are filled with uncertainty. One thing that I’m 110% certain about is that becoming alcoholfree has been one of the hardest damn things I have EVER done. Harder than any break up, job interview or exam (and believe me, I’ve sat a huge number). But it’s one of the things I am most proud of.

Are you thinking about quitting drinking? Or perhaps struggling with early sobriety? Or perhaps wondering if it’s actually worth it? 

My answer is HELL YES.

Do it. Back yourself. The power of your mind is far stronger that you think. 

Wishing you a safe, strong and restful weekend. Thank you for popping by. xoxo

P.S a massive bonus about being alcoholfree is getting up early every morning. I took the following photo on Wednesday morning on my morning beach walk before work. This is one of my special places: I’m delighted to introduce you to Lyall Bay on the Wellington coast, New Zealand

22 thoughts on “Alcoholfree living: reflections of days gone by”

    • Hi Mark, I laughed that you laughed! The reasons to drink were endless. On reflection, I’m SOoOo embarrassed about how ridiculous I was! 😆🤦🏽‍♀️ But the scary thing is, it is commonplace in our heavily drinking Kiwi society. To NOT roll with these excuses and drink at every opportunity results in screwed up faces and confusion from the majority (ie drinkers. But that’s another story.
      Ah well, I have to laugh at myself and how deluded I was as a drinker! All part of the healing, I think.
      Thanks again and have a great weekend my friend. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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      • I mean it though. In the short time I’ve known you, I’ve been so impressed by you. I love the photo too. My daughter lived in Wellington for a short time and a dear friend of mine is in Upper Hutt. One day I hope to get to NZ. ❤❤

        Liked by 1 person

      • Nawwww you are very kind.
        Oh what a small world we live in! I trust your daughter enjoyed her time here in Wellington. Although she probably didn’t enjoy the wild, windy winter weather 😆
        I hope you get to visit your friend in the Hutt too. That would be a lovely reunion.xoxo

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    • Hi Lamar! My guidelines originate out of my Buddhism studies and meditation. This includes daily meditation practice plus gratitude journalling, attending monthly drop in meditation workshops at the New Kadampa Tradition meditation centre and reading their books.
      That said, I’m always open to your advice and any additional offerings you may have.
      PS I have Noble Eight Fold Path in my reading list thanks to you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    • Thanks my friend. It’s been a rocky road but I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s wonderful people like you that have helped me along. 🙏🏼❤️
      PS it was a lovely walk, a pleasure to share with you xoxo

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  9. Keep it up … We all have our demons & addictions .. Learning to over come them . The pressure from friends & family that alcohol is will make you feel better be a person your not .. One day at a time . Is all we can ask for .. Amen
    The picture is breathtaking. 😊👍

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • You are a very wise friend Tami, thank you for your insightful message. You are right, the peer pressure to drink was horrendous when I initially quit. People still bring it up sometimes but it’s slowly becoming more accepted rather than ‘just a phase’ that I’m going thru.
      Take care and thanks again ❤️

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      Reply

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