How to be comfortable in our own company.

Yesterday marked 17 months since I stopped drinking on New Years Day last year. It’s Queens Birthday weekend (not her real birthday) which means that in New Zealand, Monday is a stat. A stat is Kiwi slang for statutory holiday… if you’re in the UK, I think you call it a bank holiday and if you’re in the States, I think you refer to it as a vacation? Apologies if this is incorrect, please let me know.

Side note: why do we celebrate the Queens Birthday in NZ? Possibly a historical thing but I genuinely don’t know. We aren’t ruled by the Queen. We have our own funky, intelligent and uber cool Prime Minister, Jacinda Arden, AND she was in Vogue magazine!! Check it out here!

I think that we should do away with the Queens Birthday Weekend here in NZ and replace it with Jacinda’s Birthday Weekend. Much more contemporary!

Anyway, I digress. Thanks to the UK’s Queen of England, we have a ‘stat’ on Monday. As much as I enjoy a staycation, I am writing to you from a small coastal town in the Coromandel. This is one of my favorite places on planet earth. As a kid, I came here a lot and still have family here. So in addition to the incredible nature, peace and quiet, I consider this place my home away from home.

When I made plans, my partner asked why I’d want to come up here in winter. It’s magic in summer but won’t I be bored, he asked?

Not. At. All.

His idea of a great weekend is in the man cave with his mates. So it’s a win win weekend – I hope he remembers to feed the cat! Time together is important but so is time apart. He’s my rock ❀️

Loneliness: a dark, distorted, drinkers’ perspective.

As a drinker, my perspectives on loneliness were pretty messed up. I thought that:

  • Loneliness is being by yourself
  • Loneliness is solved by being around people
  • Loneliness is solved by drinking
  • Loneliness is for other people, not me
  • Getting dunk with friends meant that I was fun, social and not lonely.

The reality was, I was surrounded by a tonne of people but I was the loneliest I’ve ever been. Alcohol plays havoc with our perspectives, don’t let it control yours.

Being comfortablein our own company.

Since I quit drinking, it’s taken a lot of guts, grit and online research to reset my brain’s perspective on loneliness. I wrote about a few times so won’t regurgitate what is already covered in the posts below.

If loneliness is something you’re working through right now, stick at it. You will get there even though there will be times when you experience massive FOMO, the Fear Of Missing Out. But eventually, that will go away – hang in there.

Setting boundaries: being comfortable with saying NO.

Learning to set clear, fair boundaries has been a key part in getting comfortable with my own company. But I’ll come back to you later in the weekend with a post dedicated to boundaries. A juicy, tricky subject!!

Happy birthday Queen πŸ‘‘πŸŽπŸŽ‚

So what am I up to this weekend, you might be wondering? AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE!!! That said, I will visit my cousins at some point. But I am equally happy to be writing to you this morning (Saturday 2 June 2018, second day of winter, 14*C, light rain). You’re right to guess that yoga, meditation and nature walks are on the cards.

I love the peace and quiet. No traffic, no horns, no artificial city lights. Just the rain on the roof and birds happily chirping as they dig for worms in the lawn. The tide is in. A lady just walked past with two greyhounds in raincoats.

This is being comfortable in my own company.

Virtual alcoholfree hugs,

NoWineImFine xxx

PS I took this photo here last year. Am yet to venture outdoors this weekend but I look forward to sharing some of the sights on Twitter @nowineimfine

10 thoughts on “How to be comfortable in our own company.

  1. Great post! I agree, your PM is great! the last picture is stunning, you live in paradise, lucky girl! I am watching avidly a ty drama now showing here (UK) called 800 words, love the story, the scenery and it makes the people of NZ seem so lovely, truth be told though, there is a lot of wine drinking! you have done amazingly well, you are an inspiration xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you kindly 😊✨ I do love our little country, water and forests are my go-to places for peace and solitude. Thanks for the tip on 800 Words, I must check it out! Appreciate your message and kindness, big virtual hugs 😘❀️🌺

      Like

    • PS your blog is wonderful by the way. I can’t seem to comment, possibly because we are using different platforms and I’m not too technically savvy! Your honesty and grit is so refreshing. I like that you’re spring cleaning this weekend. Getting rid of junk in the closet is a great way to make physical space but also kind of emotionally cleansing! Enjoy xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Coromandel looks absolutely wonderful (looks very like my part of the world but with way more sun haha). I’m so extremely proud of you. Yes. Bank Holiday here, but in Scotland it’s not as celebrated. I’d no idea it was the Queen’s Birthday. She never writes, never calls…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. “Let the winds of heaven dance between you.” Kahlil Gibran. You are absolutely correct- a healthy relationship needs that space to nourish the “I” in the “we”. Have a wonderful time!

    Liked by 2 people

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