Another year rolls by, but this lead up to Christmas is VERY different.
This time two years ago, I was a highly functioning alcoholic. I was getting far too merry and into the pre-Christmas festivities. All across the city, people were having work drinks, Christmas work parties, farewell drinks etc etc etc… and I was right amongst it.
The prospect of another boozy work lunch or after work drinks in the late summer sun excited me. Why? I don’t know. I guess I didn’t know how to have ‘fun’ or socialize any other way because that’s what I had done all my adult life. I look back now and shudder at what I did, who I was and how destructive I was to myself and those around me.
It’s easy to talk about the mess I was now. But back then, I was in total denial. I didn’t have a problem (or so I told myself) because the behavior was normalized by those around me.
Boy am I glad I woke up.
This time one year ago, I felt anxious and unsure about things. 2017 was my first sober lead up to Christmas and it was tough. I awkwardly declined the boozy invites but somehow I managed to get through it.
Fast forward to 2018 and the pre-Christmas festivities continue. The people who were my old drinking ‘buddies’ are still in the same places, still excessively consuming their poison of choice. And hey, it’s their choice, it’s their life. All I know is that I don’t want to be apart of that lifestyle anymore.
This year, I’m OK with not being part of the drinking and craziness in the lead up to Christmas. I have discovered a whole bunch of other things that are fun… much more rewarding and grounding than drinking ever was.
Whatever you are doing this week and next, rest assured that you aren’t alone.
Love and sober hugs,